OK world bear with me, I am new to this. Lol.
Let's see here .. My name is Kristy. I am happily married and have 2 very beautiful children. There's Abbigail, she is 21 months old and yes she has hit her terrible 2's with a bang. Lol. Then there is Aiden, He is 7 months old and cutting his teeth. So needless to say, I have my hands full. But I love it. They are my life and I couldn't imagine living without them. Also I am 24 weeks pregnant with another lil boy. As you might can imagine, this pregnancy took me a bit by surprise. And honestly scared the crap outta me. I already have 2 very young children and Im pregnant once again.
I considered all the options that were available to me. My first thought honestly was abortion. I knew that I couldn't parent another baby. I already have my hands extremely full. At times I feel like just pulling my hair out and giving up. I looked into the procedures and all that jazz, but in the end I knew that GOD gave me this child for a purpose. I didn't know at the time what that was but I knew in my heart there was no way that I could terminate this pregnancy.
So then I had to consider parenting. Like I said before, I already have my hands full. I feel that if I were to parent this child there is no way in hell (excuse my french) that I could handle it. And while thinking about all of his I am reminded that God never puts more on you than you can handle. Well then what is the reason he gave me this child, he knows very well that I can't handle it. So honestly I started to question my faith. I know this sounds bad, but the past 2 years of my life have been total hell (again, excuse my french). I found myself questioning God. Why did you let this happen? Why me? Even though yes, I know that this was truly our fault for not using better protection but still.
So then there was adoption. I have never actually thought about adoption before. I mean I know we all see it on TV and things like that. But you never really think about it until you are put in that position. So I sat down at my computer every night for weeks looking through all these profiles of families waiting to adopt. Still in the back of my mind thinking, "I could never let someone else have my child". But then one night I came across this one profile that just caught my eye. They were perfect and I knew it. They were big on religion, looked happy, successful, and the plus was that they already had one child with almost the same name as my daughter. So I clicked on the contact us link and sent the email, honestly expecting some sort of automated response from an agency. And the first email I got was automated. So that was a lil discouraging. But when I woke up the next morning there it was. An email from a real person!! I was so stoked!!! And from that day forward we have talked everyday. She has become my best friend and I don't think she knew that until now. :) After several emails I knew that this was the family this baby was meant to be with. They are AMAZING to say the least. So yes, I decided on Adoption. I feel in my heart that this child was not meant to be with me. I do honestly believe that this child was meant for Deanna, James, and Abbe.
I am getting to meet Deanna and her mother this weekend. And I am so excited, but nervous all at the same time. I know that when they get here those fears will subside.
So now that I have rambled about nothing and everything. Lol. I hope to continue this blog sharing my experience with open adoption with the hopes that maybe someone out there will read it and maybe it will help them with their decision.
For now ....
Let's see here .. My name is Kristy. I am happily married and have 2 very beautiful children. There's Abbigail, she is 21 months old and yes she has hit her terrible 2's with a bang. Lol. Then there is Aiden, He is 7 months old and cutting his teeth. So needless to say, I have my hands full. But I love it. They are my life and I couldn't imagine living without them. Also I am 24 weeks pregnant with another lil boy. As you might can imagine, this pregnancy took me a bit by surprise. And honestly scared the crap outta me. I already have 2 very young children and Im pregnant once again.
I considered all the options that were available to me. My first thought honestly was abortion. I knew that I couldn't parent another baby. I already have my hands extremely full. At times I feel like just pulling my hair out and giving up. I looked into the procedures and all that jazz, but in the end I knew that GOD gave me this child for a purpose. I didn't know at the time what that was but I knew in my heart there was no way that I could terminate this pregnancy.
So then I had to consider parenting. Like I said before, I already have my hands full. I feel that if I were to parent this child there is no way in hell (excuse my french) that I could handle it. And while thinking about all of his I am reminded that God never puts more on you than you can handle. Well then what is the reason he gave me this child, he knows very well that I can't handle it. So honestly I started to question my faith. I know this sounds bad, but the past 2 years of my life have been total hell (again, excuse my french). I found myself questioning God. Why did you let this happen? Why me? Even though yes, I know that this was truly our fault for not using better protection but still.
So then there was adoption. I have never actually thought about adoption before. I mean I know we all see it on TV and things like that. But you never really think about it until you are put in that position. So I sat down at my computer every night for weeks looking through all these profiles of families waiting to adopt. Still in the back of my mind thinking, "I could never let someone else have my child". But then one night I came across this one profile that just caught my eye. They were perfect and I knew it. They were big on religion, looked happy, successful, and the plus was that they already had one child with almost the same name as my daughter. So I clicked on the contact us link and sent the email, honestly expecting some sort of automated response from an agency. And the first email I got was automated. So that was a lil discouraging. But when I woke up the next morning there it was. An email from a real person!! I was so stoked!!! And from that day forward we have talked everyday. She has become my best friend and I don't think she knew that until now. :) After several emails I knew that this was the family this baby was meant to be with. They are AMAZING to say the least. So yes, I decided on Adoption. I feel in my heart that this child was not meant to be with me. I do honestly believe that this child was meant for Deanna, James, and Abbe.
I am getting to meet Deanna and her mother this weekend. And I am so excited, but nervous all at the same time. I know that when they get here those fears will subside.
So now that I have rambled about nothing and everything. Lol. I hope to continue this blog sharing my experience with open adoption with the hopes that maybe someone out there will read it and maybe it will help them with their decision.
For now ....
